When I was a kid, I heard about a speech at a Sheva Brochos. The speaker based his
speech on the first Possuk in Parshas Ki Setzei. He said that it says,
V’Hayah Ki Setzei L’Milchama. He
asked on this, V’Hayah is always used
as a Loshon of Simchah. What Simchah is
there B’Inyanei Milchama?
The rest of his (ten minutes long!) speech focused around
the brilliance of the Chassan.
Because the Chassan understood and
appreciated war tactics; war plans and strategies actually brought him Simchah.
(This was around the time of the Persian Gulf War. I guess I am dating myself a
little here). The speaker brought appropriate proofs, theories, and jokes. He
concluded his speech with the usual ‘Zocheh
to build a Bayis Neeman B’Yisrael’
and added that it can only be accomplished through Sholom and not fighting, and that will bring true Simchah.
He sat down, amidst applause and Shkoyachs, and then stood up again. “Rabboisai,” he said. “I was thinking that there is a one small Nekudah that you can use to shlug up my vort. And that is, l’maaseh
the Possuk doesn’t have the word V’Hayah in it…”
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Being molested by a frum pedophile is complicated. (By the
way the term ‘frum pedophile’ is a complete oxymoron. If he is a pedophile, he
ain’t frum, regardless of his garb or synagogue association. But I digress.) It
is complicated because of the community’s understanding of what the Chillul Hashem is in the situation. They seem to think that it means that goyim should not find out that such a
concept exists by frum Yidden. And
so, based on that belief, to be Mekadesh
Shem Shamayim in this situation would be to make sure that no goy or newspaper ever finds out about
it. This would mean to take care of the problem ‘internally’.
Now, as we all know, whether we would like to admit it in
words or not, the frum community does not have the capabilities to deal with
molesters. Fact is no pedophile can be stopped without law enforcement
involved. Even in the unlikely situation that a predator is willing to go to therapy
for help, he is still not cured. He still needs to be monitored and kept away
from children. We don’t have a tracking system to put this in place. And we
certainly don’t have the capacity to impose a consequence when he violates his
rules. What penalty can be given and upheld without involving the police? And
if we go to the police, then we are making a Chillul Hashem.
This seems like a really complicated situation. But the real
issue here is that the basic premise on which all this is built on is false!
Not that we are allowed to make a Chillul
Hashem. Of course not! But rather what the Chillul Hashem really is. That is where the fault lies.
The Chillul Hashem
in the situation is not the publicity it would entail to expose molesters. It is the fact that a religious looking
predator is molesting children! That is a disgrace to G-d’s name. How can
we rectify that? By showing that we have zero tolerance for such despicable
behavior. He has to be punished for his actions. And only that can be mekadesh Shem Shamayim. The publicity
that may come out of putting a pedophile where he belongs isn’t tarnishing
Hashem’s Kovod. In fact it is the
opposite. It shows that we protect Hashem’s honor by taking care of His tayere children.
But herein lies the issue. Whose Kovod is being tarnished? Maybe the Kovod of the Rav of the Shul where he davens. How can he have
such a lowlife as part of his congregation? It certainly doesn’t reflect well
on him. Or the Rosh Yeshiva of the Yeshiva he associates himself with. Wouldn’t
say much about his institution, would it? What about the Chassidus or the community that the predator comes from? How would
they look if he would be exposed?
These are indeed painful truths. But instead of realizing
that a predator need not define them if they react and act appropriately, they
change only one small Nekudah in the
reality of the situation. They substitute ‘Hashem’ for their own name. And then
go on a rampage of the ‘Chillul Hashem’ that
would come from making it public…
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To build a whole Sheva
Brochos speech on shtusim? That is acceptable and can even
elicit a chuckle. But there is absolutely nothing remotely funny or humorous
about paskening matters of life and
death based on misrepresentations and misinterpretations.
Let us stop protecting our self images, our community
reputations, our pedophiles.
Asei L’maan Tinokos
Shel Beis Rabban.
Enough is enough.
The time has come to be Mekadesh
Shem Shamayaim.
