IF IT AIN’T BROKE, DON’T FIX IT

(*See below for transcript of the speech)

This, my friends, is the proclamation and response to molestation in the Frum community.

As he is addressing me, a blogger, naturally it would only make sense for me to respond.

Truthfully, the first thing that comes to mind is what was found in Winston Churchill's notes on one of his speeches "weak point. speak louder." Indeed. Indeed. If you can't address the issue at hand, then at least distract by doing something else. 

Is this speech supposed to make us feel comforted? More secure? Wiser? Prouder to be a Yid?

There is a joke I've once heard. Someone asked a friend for a phone number. The friend replied “Oh I know it. 555-4 - I can’t remember the middle two numbers – but it ends in 6”

There is a reason we can laugh at that. Being vague and general doesn’t help much when there is a specific purpose to be accomplished, does it?

I remember when I was in Grade school, a friend of mine had a cold and stayed home from school. She didn’t catch up on the school work she missed, and was scared my teacher wouldn’t accept ‘the common cold’ as a valid excuse. And so her mother wrote “Please excuse Chani’s absence, she had an upper respiratory infection”. And sure enough she was excused. A cold, the teacher knew very well what that was; but wording it as an ‘upper respiratory infection’, who knows what that is? It has the word infection in it. Sounds ominous enough to be excused.

This speech reminds me of that note. Make it sound like something, something big. So long it sounds like that.  Vague points, ma'amarei Chazal, a sprinkle of Yiddish, a krechtz, a sigh, and he addressed, boldly addressed, 'it'. But can we be so bold and ask, addressed what? Accomplished what? How are our children, we as a community, any safer than we were prior to this speech?

This isn’t politics, where hand gesticulations, tone modulations, and superlatives can get you through the sentence.This is matters of life and death. Pikuach Nefashos Mamesh,

This also isn’t an immigrant trying to express ideas without being able to speak his using his native tongue, he is an American. He even has a college degree. He is a powerful orator, articulate speaker, and known to have a brilliant mind. What is all this fumfiting all about? This is all he can say about the horrific situation?

Now, I am not going to say which point he made that hurt most, although there are plenty of them that are vying for first place. Instead, I will let you know my spin on how and where I think this speech veered into netherland.

There is a story told of a man in Chelm who hired a Ba'al Agala, a wagon driver, to take him to his destination. He cautioned the driver about a large pit that was on the main road, and asked him to take the side roads instead. "Don't worry, son," the driver told him, "I've been driving on this road for 10 years now, every single day. You have nothing to be concerned about." The man fell asleep in the wagon, and was woken up by a jerk and  a thud. The wagon fell into the pit on the main road! The very one he cautioned the driver about! "Isn't it interesting," mused the driver, "I've been driving on this road for 10 years now. Every single day. And every time I come to this pit I fall in."

Interesting indeed...This is the point I want to bring out. When a problem isn't verbalized, when it isn't addressed clearly and specifically, it is not possible to come up with a solution for it. So long we don't admit exactly what the issue at hand is, we can't begin to solve it. If the problem is vague, the solution can't be much clearer,

And with this, I want to share my thoughts, and I will attempt to be as clear and precise as possible.

We all know that there are abuse victims in the community. Everyone knows this. And here is the natural next obvious step that must be understood, internalized, and subsequently dealt with. If there are victims, then that means there are perpetrators; not bloggers, not people that sue 40 years later; but proof that there are sexual predators.

 This realization forces us (and if it doesn't, certainly it must force us) to conclude that perpetrators must be kept away from children so that they don't harm anyone anymore.

It doesn't matter if you are a Rov, a teacher, a neighbor, a father, a brother. It doesn't matter if you are part of a Chassidus, a community or a family of prestige.  If you hurt a child, if you sexually assaulted anyone, you have to be kept away from society.

There is no need to shift the blame on the victims, on the communities, on Avonoseinu Harabim (which, by the way, where does that come in?? But I digress). There is no need to blame anyone but the molesters themselves. And also the Rabbonim, the communities and families that are protecting and allowing child molesters to continue to harm, devastate and decimate our children.

We have a problem. I am living proof that the problem exists. I have friends that are living proof that the problem exists. And sadly, I have friends that are no longer living - but are certainly proof that the problem exists.

Molesters must be dealt with. Molesters must be kept away from children. 

How should it be dealt with?  

With community as caring as ours, as intelligent as ours - we can figure it out. So long we realize that the time has come to become solution oriented.

Especially Al Pi Da'as Torah.

*Here is the speech -transcribed and translated by Yerachmiel Lopin. Yerachmiel kindly gave me permission to use his transcription; heck, it was tough for me to listen to it even once! 
(This is the link to Yerachmiel's comments - well thought out - on this speech Agudath Israel Head Opposes SOL Reform or Going Straight to Police about CSA While Complaining that Bloggers Lie about Haredi Rabbis )

One of the problems that we are facing, more today, that we weren't aware of, and it has to be mentioned, for a number of reasons, is the abuse of young people, b’oifen gufni (physical abuse) and molestation, al d’avoinoseinu harabim (which because of our many sins), have gotten into our tzibur (community).

And the litzonei hador (mockers of this generation) feel that we don’t care about it. The bloggers feel that the Haredi world dismisses the problem and a. they are not sufficiently sympathetic to the victims and b. they don’t do, they don’t care; they are interested in protecting the perpetrators.

Muz ich eich zugen dus iz sheker vikozev (I have to tell you this is a lie and a falsehood). The rabbonim (rabbis) sitting here, knowing perhaps better than I do, how many hours and hours and dozens of hours throughout these last years we’ve sat and deliberated and talked about every single aspect of this problem.

And how we have to see to it that the predators are not there to disturb our children.

How parents have to be sensitive and conscious as to how to talk to their children, and how to sensitize them in an intelligent way against people who chulilah vechas (G-d forbid) are in sakanah (danger) of molesting them [when they go to camp and when they go elsewhere.

And how when there is raglayim lidavor ven men meg yeh redden tzu (substance to the abuse allegation when you can talk to) the authorities un ven men meg nisht redden(and when you can’t talk). I won’t go into the details.

But I feel I have to say it because I’ve heard and other rabbonim (rabbis) have heard that we are being accused of not being sufficiently sympathetic or sensitive to this issue.Und ich zug az iz sheker vikozov (I say that it is a lie and and a falsehood).

Yes, we want to protect our mosdos (organizations). We want to be able to prevent somebody who wakes up 40 years later and he sues a yeshiva for something that happened who knows how many years ago.

But at the same time we have no sympathy for perpetrators.

Und min darf zey mitapel zein, rachmonis oif em und helfen (We have to take care of them, have mercy on them and help), the victims.

I say this as a maimad hamuskar (parenthetical statement), in order to speak birabim(in public) about one little aspect, as to what our community faces from the litzonai hador (mockers of this generation). Halevai (If only) if they would only be litzonim(mockers).

They are mazikim (wreckers) as well, those who are always ready to accuse us, to criticize us, out of a disrespect for Torah, for its values, for its principles, and as to how questions are decided- Al Pi Daas Torah.