in search of Him

At a family Bar Mitzva I had time to reflect

No matter how much preparation, I have to accept,

Feelings of shortness of breath
And suffocating to death

When I know it’s my brother that I am going to expect

Thankfully he was late, but still no matter when

His appearance will show and suddenly then-

When he walks in

My head starts to spin

Suddenly I’m a helpless kid all over again.

And his wife follows; her nose held high

And daintily (quite snootily) passes me by.

The queen of bitches

The mistress of witches

About her behavior-it’s hard to explain why.

Certainly clear to me that I did no wrong

Yet she’s determined to make sure I don’t belong.

As she gives a sweeping glance

And ignores me with askance

While smiling and laughing with the others along.

If family is a blessing then it is certainly disguised
To me they are a curse, right in front of my eyes

Logic so twisted and bent

To ignore the innocent

And fiercely protective over the truly despised

I clearly don’t understand all or any of God’s scheme

Though at this time I wonder where He reigns supreme

I hope not with the bastards and bitches

Or with the assholes and witches

And I wonder, can I count Him-

                                               As One on my team?